Summer Louise Burley

A much loved daughter to Tom and Lisa , sister to Tyrese and Charlie grandaughter of Jenny John Kim and Michael x




My darling daughter Summer Louise was sadly taken away from me and my family at 21 weeks. It was the most heartbreaking thing ive ever had to go through and there isnt a minute i dont think about her. Summer's daddy and i loved her very much and still do and until we meet again she will never be out of our minds and hearts. TJ's missing you millions too Summer he keeps saying your in the sky and looks and points to, the whole family misses u and wishes you the best. Summer was Tom's and mines second child who we wanted and loved so much it hurts us everyday shes not with us, but we know shes gone to a better place free from pain.










I found out i was carrying Summer on the 9th june too say i was surprised was an understatement i was on the pill but neither less we was both happy. The first few weeks were a bit hectic after going to a&e for stomache cramps and a suspected misscariage i went on to have normal pregnancy i had a scan though at 9 weeks with showed a healthy baby yayyyy. All the way through i knew she was a girl she wouldnt let me eat anything unhealthy so a diet of fruit and water was on the menu. I first felt her move at 15 weeks tiny and softly but magical use to make me smile my partner always knew when she had as id have a silly grin on my face. The next few weeks were going good we had decided on Summer Louise if it was a girl but we hadnt decided on one for a boy. Other than morning sickness and tiredness i was doing good my scan had been booked for my 21st birthday 19.09.08 unknown to me this day would long return to haunt me forever.
I use to love laying and holding my bump willing for her to move or give me just one more kick she always did aswell. her daddy only got to feel her one time as she was stubborn we use to laugh and joke about how when i laid down she would move straigh under my belly button i use to say it looked like a sausage roll.I dont know if its a mother instinct or not but i couldnt shake off a feeling something was wrong with my baby i expressed my concern to my family i just couldnt get the thought out my head.



19/09/08
My birthday my scan was set for 9am tom tyrese my mum and i travelled to the maternity ward to wait for our scan, id arranged for my mum and tyrese to come in once we knew summer was ok. the sonographer was laughing and jokin taking his measurements and confirmed i was right we was having a girl. the joy was short lived though he then told me she had spina bifida and water on the brain that bad of a case he didnt need a second opinion. OMG how can this be happening i stopped the scan immediatly called my mum in and explained we was sent to see a consultant but after a 20 min wait i couldnt wait much longer i needed to be away from there becuase then it wasnt happening. we was given information sheets all which seemed to point in the abortion direction. both me and tom decided we couldnt give up not yet we needed to give her a chance or at least wait for the outcome as we had read how much of there life they would not be able to live ect. I was asked to go back in on the tuesday 23rd sept. We decided to go and tell the rest of the family how the scan went we recived lots of support and love . For days all we could do was cry and try and find some kind of information to help us out. we had decided that if she had a 50% chance of survival without being in pain and brain damaged we would carry on but if we was going to be condeming her to a lifetime of pain then as much as we loved her we knew we had to let her go.

23/09/08

we went to the consultant today both our mums came along , time as never dragged so much when the consultant arrived her explained that usually 3 spinal discs missing were bad my baby girl had 5 she had double the amount of water on the brain , had no cerebellum and another opening at the top of her back. There was no chance for her i swear i felt my heart break how could he say that he explained that even if i carry her to full term she wouldnt live past birth he was certain she would pass in utero. after a talk between our selves we decided as hard as it was we had to let her go. The midwife gave me the first tablets to ready my womb for labour to come back thursday 25th for the induction. i decided i didnt want summer cremated i wanted her buried , they said this was impossible because before 24 weeks she wasnt viable i told them if this couldnt be down then i would wait another 3 weeks. after a few phone calls Sentiments agreed to do it. We left the hospital in a daze heartbroken and numb. We then had to plan a funeral for our baby which was still alive.

we choose the songs and poems the time and place but deep down nothing made sense anymore how sureal it is to be sat doing this when we should of been planning our nursery and her cristening, you see what i couldnt understand was i did everything my the book followed it down to the letter and this happened i wanted to scream why me , what have we done???.

once everything was set all that was left to do was wait till thursday came.

25/09/08
another early start 8am we had to be at the hospital again our mums was with us i was prepared with the tablets ect and told once i had pains not to move. the pains started at 12pm nothing i couldnt handle more heart wrenching than painfull.The whole time she was still moving , i was having my tablets at 3hr intervals i had my last lot at 3pm and still nothing slight discomfort but nothing magor i decided then if she hadnt come by then i wouldnt have anymore.
5:40pm my brother in law arrived we decided to go down for a cig thats when the pains got bad i told tom we needed to go back upstairs she was on her way.
i got into the bath i needed something to relax me i couldnt feel what i thought was a head so the midwifes were called into examine me, i was dialating ok but summer was coming hand and leg first so i was not to push just yet. the contractions were bad so i had gas and air i eventually felt the need to push and with in 2 pushes my darling daughter summer was born at 7:40pm, tom cut the cord and she was wrapped and passed to tom. i had convinced myself she was alive i dont no why because she didnt cry i just thought she was she came out sucking her thumb. i got bathed and dressed and went and held my daughter she was beautifl the most perfect angel there is. We rang the for the rest of the family to come and say there goodbyes adn to see the blessing.By 9pm i was shattered the gas and air was making me sleepy so everyone left so we was able to spend some time with out daughter, i must of fallen asleep the next thing i remember is hearing the midwife ask tom if she could take Summer i said no let us have 10 more minutes first. we both sat and held our daughter and cried it was never meant to be this way we took lots of pictures and handprints were done too.
We both must of fallen asleep because the next thing i know it was morning and we had to be ready as Sentiments were coming to collect Summer.
I went and got my daughter back and we just sat and held her it was heartbreaking to know this would be the last time i would see her face but i knew id never forget it. Sentiments arrived i decided i wanted to carry Summer down myself so off we went i swear with every step i took my heart broke more and more i placed my daughter in there hands and watched till the car could be seen no more.

The next few days are a blur some bits i remember some i dont.

2/10/08
Summers funeral was held in scartho crem it was a lovely service and all her family was there to say there goodbyes. I dont think there was a dry eye there that day.

We played

Armeggedon- I dont want to miss a thing
Guns and roses - Dont cry
Leann Rimes- How do i live
Spice girls- Goodbye


We decided to have two poems read out by my sister these were-


OUR BABY

In a baby castle, just beyond our eyes,
Our baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy.
Who are we, to wish that you had known this world of strife?
Now, play on, our Baby you have eternal life.
At night, when all is silent and sleep forsakes our eyes
We’ll hear your tiny footsteps come running to our side.
Your little hands caress us, so tenderly and sweet
We’ll breathe a prayer and close our eyes
And embrace you in our sleep.
Feelings we will treasure,
Sometimes they’ll make us sad,
Because, our little Baby
We are still your Mum and Dad.


You Were So Young.

We’ll never understand it
It was all so brief.
Why someone so little
The pain, the hurt, the grief.
At first we felt so bitter
Why?...we used to say.
God knew how much we loved you,
But still he took you away.
We still miss you as much today,
But now we understand
God makes us - and it’s up to him,
When he takes our hand




Sleep tight now darling until the day comes when were all togeather again xxxxxx